Friday, January 15, 2010

Seven Months Already

It's really amazing how much our little one has grown seemingly overnight. Since she's mastered crawling, her mood has also dramatically improved. The massive growth spurts-both mind and body-that dominated month 6, on top of teeth that seem to periodically try and fail to break through, on top of her first sickness...were trying for all involved. But now. How quickly we forget. Just last week I was complaining about what a fussy high maintenance child we had (no offense, Samaya) and today I am marveling at the joyful ball of energy I am privileged to spend my days with. (Of course, I loved her last week just as much- I'm just grateful she isn't always that intense.)

I don't know if I could really put words to it, but just the act of crawling seems to have changed so much about Samaya. Suddenly she is in charge of her own world and I can sit back in awe as she wields her power. Yesterday began the day Daddy has been dreaming of since before she was born- he came in the door from work and Samaya nearly sprinted into his arms. To see her be able to translate her desires into action is remarkable. She is her OWN person. Sisay and I periodically look at each other and say this when we're struck by the fact that we live with another human being-that we created.

But now it's really coming into fruition. If I'm in the kitchen and she wants me, she comes to me (albeit crying the whole way because she hasn't fully realized what she is capable of. and it's habit.) If she wants to explore the heating vent on the floor over there, or eat that piece of paper before I can stop her, or get away as fast as she can from the stuffed kitten that she is suddenly afraid of, then she can.

Probably those of you who don't have children or can't remember that long ago don't really understand just how amazing the begininning of this process is, but I'm willing to bet there are plenty of parents who know exactly what I'm trying and failing to say. It's like...her free will is manifesting itself. And suddenly I'm imagining all the decisions she'll ever make in her she'll handle being left out or bullied by another child, whether she'll be a dancer or a writer, whether she'll become a doctor like her daddy says she will. From the moment of conception, all parents marvel at the miracle of a unique and completely new life that has just entered the scene, but then it's months before we see that life, and even then it is a slow but beautiful unfolding of just exactly who this person is.
And in the end, will we ever really know? THAT, I think, is the very best part. I get to spend my days with a tiny and perfect mystery who just might, if I'm lucky, peel off one more layer of her endlessly layered self. It is always exciting.

In the meantime, I enjoy making wild hypotheses about her personality. For one, she is most definitely going to be a writer. The reason she crawled for the first time? To get that pencil I left on the floor. And paper. The girl loves paper. Grandfathers have had to inform me in grocery store check-out lanes that my daughter had nearly finished the grocery list. And we all know Samaya is as extroverted as one can be. At least two people a day (if I manage to leave the house) tell me she has made their day because of the huge grin she flashes and the attempt she makes to lunge into their arms. Also, she's a musician. Have you seen her play Grandma's piano or dance to, um, anything? especially t.v. commercials?

1 comment:

  1. I totally, utterly understand what you're saying. I have been feeling exactly the same way. And I think you're saying it beautifully.