The newest Sabera

Our little African Violet arrived Saturday morning, February 12th, weighing in at a whopping 9 lbs 4 oz. She was born at home (the first baby born at Green Acre in quite some time) and across the street from where her big sister made her appearance. Twelve days with our little flower and we are so ridiculously in love. Born half in the water, half out, she never made a sound; simply curled up on my chest, seemingly fast asleep, seemingly here all along. You have to admire that in a newborn- unperturbed by the sudden and dramatic entry into a new world.

My labor started Friday night, and by 1 am Samaya had joined the party, refusing to miss out on the excitement. While I sung Amazing Grace through contractions in the bathroom (I don't know--it just needed to be done), Samaya and Sisay sung Baa Baa Black Sheep and everything else they could think of in the bedroom. My mother came and took her at 4:30 and just in time because I really needed Sisay by then. I stayed in the birth tub for the last three hours, keeping the rising winter sun always in view from our living room window. If the morning could usher in the sun, I was confident it would also welcome this child. At 8 am, Violet Olivia was born face up. Her shoulders never turned and came out in line with her head (which made for the half out of water birth since I had to stand up and push her body out with every ounce of my being). It was intense and beautiful and everything I could have wished for.

Sisay was the epitome of confidence and calm. Samaya was safely in the hands of my mother and sister. And when I think of our midwife Brenda, tears come to my eyes. I am so eternally grateful to her for being fully present, yet unobtrusive, incredibly capable, yet always humble, a steady support, yet fully trusting in my own ability to birth my child. I cannot express how much I love and admire her, as well as our two other midwives who could not be present. A special relationship is inevitably formed when one witnesses you naked, sweating, screaming, excreting every known bodily fluid from all possible openings, and ultimately birthing your very own child. Such things cannot and should not be shared with just anyone. We love you all so much!

So far Violet has cumulatively slept more than Samaya has to date, screams just as loudly, and is just as gorgeous. But OH BOY, two children sure does seem like 100. Sisay has already declared that the next one will come when the others have left for college. All I have to say is thank God for grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends.

Merbaby

My mom hosted a lovely women's devotional for Emily and I this afternoon to celebrate the babies-to-be-born. She picked out quotes on mothering, my sister organized a few baby shower games, we shared birth stories, and our friend Gabriela led us in some yoga moves. It was delightful.

My dad was at our house with Samaya since Sisay had to work today and as usual I gave him the v.e.r.y. s.p.e.c.i.f.i.c. rundown to be sure diapers and food ended up in their appropriate locations. Ahem. Love you Dad. She is always very much in tact when I return, but let's just say Grandpa never fails to leave his signature behind.

Today was definitely the all-time high. I was still laughing when Sisay came home 20 minutes later.





In retrospect, I had vaguely wondered why she didn't run to me when I came in the door.

For my cousin Ginny (and every other mother who hasn't slept in eons)

So my cousin requested I talk about sleep, which just happens to be the most frequently used word in this household and what my life revolves around. I used to feel shallow about this fact, and then I realized...that there simply isn't anything better than sleep when you're not getting it. It makes or breaks the entire day. There were many months there where I fantasized about it. Now it's better. Now it's more of a strong desire.

Samaya unfortunately has never shared her parents' enthusiasm for the shutting of one's eyes. Our midwives told us before they left that first day to expect her to sleep a lot for the next day or two--that she would be recovering from the work of birth. But all Sisay and I can remember is a constant passing back and forth of our perfect and gorgeous and sleepless child and a whole lot of rocking in the middle of the night. For the next year, things didn't change a whole lot. Every 4 months or so, she would generously give us a 4-5 hour stretch, but generally speaking it was more like every hour and a half with maybe a 3 hour stretch thrown in. Now most of you reading this will be thinking, 'Oh, that must have been rough,' but then there is the contingent exclaiming, 'Yes, she understands! Oh, the torture!' This is mostly for you.

I was proactive. I read all the sleep books. I knew where I stood on the Ferber vs. Dr. Sears philosophies. And to the dismay of my husband, I implemented new plans weekly. My first priority was to get her to fall asleep on her own at around six months. This would logically lead to being able to put herself back to sleep when she woke up in the night.(HA!) We still read a book and nursed, but I would make sure she stayed awake after that long enough to sing one prayer. Then we would lay down on her bed next to ours and she would do the rest. At the beginning this was a VERY long process of repeatedly laying her back down (with varying levels of protest) until she got the message or wore herself out. But I was consistent, and now putting her to sleep is always easy and usually only minutes long.

Then it was on to the night wakings. They didn't change! And if they didn't result in milk, they always resulted in tantrums. I told myself I'd give her a year and then close the all-night all-you-can-drink milk bar. And I meant it. At around 13 months, I warned Sisay and braced myself. I had already spent a lot of time pointing out the differences between day time and night time, the sun and the moon, light and dark so that she was more conscious of the daily rhythms. That first night when she woke up, I told her as soothingly as I could that there would be "milk in the morning, when the sun comes up." "Night time is for sleeping. In the morning we will wake up and have milk." Mostly, I pretended to sleep. She wasn't pleased, but at least I knew she understood and was old enough now to go all night without food. She could have water, chamomile tea, even a banana (which I kept right by the bed) if she wanted but usually she declined. Surprisingly, it only took her a few days of crying before it clicked. It wasn't sudden, but she was waking up less and screaming a lot less.

Now, at 16 months, she sleeps around 8 hours straight. If she wakes up, it's rare that she needs me. The only problem is that after such a nice long stretch, she's not tired enough to go back to sleep and she's too tired really to be up for the day. So she crawls over to me and tosses and turns from 4 to 6 am, to her credit genuinely trying to go back to sleep. And then we're up for real. By 7 she's grumpy.

So help me God this child WILL sleep 10 (or 12) hours before her baby sister arrives in February.

By the way, we're having another baby girl! And she will be an EXCELLENT sleeper!

This child

There is a small and swirling girl in our midst these days- only a shadow of the baby we once cradled in our arms. Every day, every hour, another word is spoken, new skill is learned, milestone is reached, and I say to myself, 'Don't forget this. Please don't forget this moment.' But the moments form miniature mountains around me and at the end of the day all that is left is a vague sense of awe at how quickly the landscape is changing around us. The details...washed away in the fading light.

Language. Oh to watch her finally and gradually communicate her thoughts in words:

"Hep, hep" she calls when she's gotten herself into a precarious situation. Often with both feet stuck inside the hole of her potty or wedged behind the toilet for God knows what reason.
"Please," she signs passionately and sometimes says, leaving the rest to be deciphered by her psychic parents: Please what??
A favorite: "Peace!" spoken dramatically with thumb and pointer finger thrust forward.
"Baby, na na na na na" as she points to a a sleeping baby in a magazine.
"No, no, no, no, no" accompanied by a wagging finger to show that a cupboard is not to be opened or the toilet water is not to be splashed in.
There are lists of words...all done, moon, balloon, bubble, baby, water, juice, peas, cheese, milk, May, Aman, Papa, Abdu'l-Baha (Ababa), bath, Elmo, ABCs, hat, shoes, apple, want this!,yeah, Tiernan (Neneh), zhuzhu (swing), ice, hi, bye, meow, Allah'u'abha (Abha), Brown bear, brown bear (bow beh, bow beh)...

But the most amazing thing is her recent ability to repeat words on the spot. Since it is currently less than pleasant to take her into any store (How dare you stop me from ripping everything off the shelves, running off with your debit card down the aisles, and from containing me in any form), I try to narrate everything that is happening to engage her in the process. As we ring up each grocery item, These are lemons, can you say lemon? And with amazing accuracy, she does! Every time it is completely amazing to hear her utter a word she has never said before right on the spot. I find myself looking around at the other people in line for some mutual acknowledgement of what we have just witnessed, but all I get is a polite smile. Today I asked her to say cranberry, and by golly she came pretty close. That's a solid three syllables folks.

And it isn't just words. We took Eric Carle's 'From Head to Toe' out of the library and within a day she had mastered each of the animal movements. She does a mean gorilla.
She pants and barks at dogs, makes some sound that Sisay taught her for squirrels, signs 'bird' and 'fish'.
She nurses her babies and lays them on the bed with an accompanying 'na na na na na.' She sits Elmo up in front of her wooden ABC toy and sings over and over again,'ABC! ABC! ABC!' This particularly kills me.
And she understands. everything. Which is particularly helpful for bribing purposes: Eat another bite and I'll give you more ice and You want milk? Okay, diaper change first, then milk.
We've also reached the point where important objects go completely and utterly missing when you should have been out the door 10 minutes ago. My hairbrush? In her sock drawer. Cell phone? Browning nicely in the play kitchen oven. Library book? To be continued...

I suppose that's enough of 'my daughter is so amazing and the internet must deeply understand.' Can I just say how completely yummy she was tonight when we were putting her to bed. Oh, the spontaneous hugs! Oh, the accompanied patting of our backs! I do declare there is nothing sweeter than a spontaneous hug from a 15-month-old.

PART 2: Friends

'Summer' in installments....

PART 1: Squinchy Face

York Beach


more beach



Abdu'l-Baha's room


Sanam's wedding!


Kiddie pool


After her first slip and slide


At the fair


Raising of the peace flag at Green Acre